Thursday, June 10, 2010

More than a Break Up

We all had a lost love, some of us more truly than others.
I had that boyfriend that
I loved, Care and spent every free second of my days with.
I had the boyfriend that made me
shy, happy, smile and dance around in my kitchen with socks on.
I lost him to some other guys.
They took his life. They took him out of my life.
It hurt way more than I expected and even though it’s been years
since it happened it still hurts and I still miss him more than ever.
I was in the love stage. The “I can’t live without him stage”…
so when he was taken I really felt like I couldn’t live without him.
That day I found out, I cried all day. The next day, I did too.
The third day, it felt unreal and I felt unreal. I felt like a lost soul in an empty world.
In a way I want to believe that it was the same as a break up.
The he left me “break-up”, the he cheated “brake up”, the he wanted someone else “break up”.
I tried so hard to convince myself of all these things.
But truly I know that’s not the case.
I sometimes wish it was, because I would hate him instead of missing him so much.
If I hated him it wouldn’t still hurt.

R.I.P Jesse Hernandez 02/14/84-09/21/2006

Loving you was easy, losing you was hard. Loving you is still easy, but knowing you are no longer here, is the hardest of it all.


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